My latest obsession

I wish i could get over my jealousy issues sometimes...

Other times i wish i could simply trust someone not to do me wrong, and yet i have this sinking feeling everytime i consider the events of my past.

I hope she's different.

We've both fallen for each other and yet we're trying our best to fight it.

She is undergoing a rough breakup with her ex of 7 years. They've been broken up since the beginning of the year, but now comes all the paperwork and drama. She's afraid of getting hurt the same way again from another guy. So she continues to go out with me but refuses to assign me the dreadful title of "boyfriend."

I'm not exactly looking for an official relationship either because it's like picking up a part-time job that does the reverse effect on your wallet. Somehow you end up spending lots of time and money, and neither of which i've got entirely too much of at this point in time. And considering i've got my promotion coming up, i REALLY don't have that kind of time to just dilly-dally when i could be doing something that'll help me advance in my career.

Unfortunately for me that means she's considered fair game to anyone else. And even though she's told me that she's a busy person and that she spends all of her spare time with me, she wouldn't change it one bit.

We've developed something special from what started as a friendship that began from the workplace. She talks about how she wants to do things with me in the future, and yet... She teases me with "you know, ***** asked me out on a date today. What do you think i should do?" And even though i KNOW she won't go out with them, it bothers me. I don't know why, i know she's only interested in me, but i can't help but feel a tad jealous considering i can't talk to Mr. X and say "that's my girlfriend, back up homeboy."

I guess i'm being retarded about all of this but i'm hoping that one of you guys can help provide some insight.

Please? With a cherry on top? =\